Cop Stereotypes
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Narcotics UnitsImmediately grow facial hair, starts smoking telling everybody you were ordered to do it. Start watching every episode of Monster Garage. Buy a biker wallet with a big chain. Get numerous tat's. Make every case involve overtime $$$. Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime. Learn to play golf drunk. |
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SWAT Units Wear team T-shirts that are 2 sizes too small, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word 'breach' in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Have 3 knives and a gun concealed about your person at any given time.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
head nod, and flex your biceps at any opportunity.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun. |
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Community Service Units Hate SWAT.
Works to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Always checking their Feng Shui Charts.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf. |
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School Resource Officers Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
Knows every coffee pot location on campus
Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
Really hates kids but loves the hours
Only talks to the really hot teachers
Only works at night when there is a football game
Drives a golf cart all day on campus |
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Traffic Units Write tickets to EVERYBODY. Grow big bushy mustache.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your traffic stops.
Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool. |
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Administrative Units Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a 'Meeting'.
Always carry a manilla folder with you, so it looks like you are working, even if it is empty.
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you have been published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf, especially with the 'Higher Ups'. |
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Patrol Units Have nerves of steel.
Is able to solve all problems with a tazer shot.
In a terminal state of heartburn from department politics.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot |
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Investigators Come in at 0800
'Breakfast' from 0815 to 1030
Work from 1030 to Noon
Work out and Lunch to 1400
1400-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
the wife doesn't know. Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip. |
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Patrol Sergeant Remembers very well 'How we used to do it'.
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word 'Liability' in to every sentence.
Talks about 'What he's hearing from upstairs'. Hasn't been on a golf course in years. |
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Trainee Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Wears black leather gloves at all times.
Arrives for work three hours early.
Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won't drink on the golf course because it
violates the open container ordinance. |
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