A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, DAD.

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:


Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.

But it's not only the passion--Dad, she's pregnant and Barbara said we will be very happy. Although you won't care for her as she is much older than me, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that is one of my dreams also.


Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we will be growing it for ourselves and trading it to her friends for all the cocaine and estasy we want.

In the meantime, we will be praying that science will find a cure for aids so Barbara can get better; she deserves it! Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15 years old and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we will be back to visit then you can get to know your grandchildren.


P.S. None of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbors. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my Report Card. You will find it in my desk center drawer.

I Love You!

Call me when it is SAFE to come home.

Oh, the joys of Fatherhood.........Remember all of your own little surprises from your kids and enjoy......