I was shocked and confused,      As I entered Heaven's door,      Not by the beauty of it all,      Not by the lights or decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven      Who made me sputter and gasp!      The thieves, the liars, sinners,      The alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from 7th grade      Who stole my lunch money twice.      Next to him was my old neighbor      Who never said anything nice.

Uncle Bill, who I always thought      Was rotting away in hell,      Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,      Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, What's the deal?      I would love to hear your take.      How'd all these sinners get here?      God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,      So somber? Give me a clue.      Hush, said He. They're all in shock.      No one thought they'd see you.