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BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!!!
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Dihydrogen Monoxide is Dangerous
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people
every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers
of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion
can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting
and body electrolyte imbalance.
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For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death. Dihydrogen monoxide:
is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain--Contributes to the
'Greenhouse Effect'--May cause severe burns--Contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape
--Accelerates corrosion and rusting of manny metals--May cause electrical failures and decreased
effectiveness of automobile brakes--Has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions! Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been
found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is
global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice.
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DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently several southern states.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:As an industrial solvent and coolant--In
nuclear power plants--In the production of styrofoam--As a fire retardant--In many forms of
cruel animal research--In the distribution of pesticides--As an additive in certain 'junk-foods'
and other food products.
Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical. Companies dump waste DHMO
into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still
legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
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The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging
chemical due to its 'importance to the economic health of this nation.' In fact, the navy and
other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion
dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military
research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution
network. Many store large quantities for later use.
Maybe--Just Maybe--We good citizens need to protest and put a stop to the use of DHMO!!!
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But.....Before you become to upset over the use of DHMO, Please continue reading!
'DHMO' is a synonym for 'H2O,' the scientific name for Water. Replace every
instance of 'DHMO' and 'dihydrogen monoxide' in the message above with the word 'water,' and
you'll get the joke (if you didn't already).
The message is a parody of exaggerated health alerts of the type we find circulating on the
Internet every day, warnings that spread needless fear by taking advantage of scientific
ignorance and consumer gullibility.
By presenting a series of essentially true statements in a grossly misleading way, even
something as harmless as water can be made to sound like a dire threat to human health and
environmental safety.
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