Sent To Me By All My Friends
- I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
- I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. I also had to start walking because I may have been stuck with another aids needle by pumping gas.
- I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
- I don't leave my car in the WalMart parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
- I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
- I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
- I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because the chickens or cows used are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds and KFC can sell their chicken, nuggets, and burgers.
- I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
- I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at anyone no matter how hot they are, for fear they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
- I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
- I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
- I have to say I have quit looking for the Missing Penny Brown she has probably graduated from college by now, considering she was never missing in the first place!
- Have YOU ever tried to explain to a Highway Patrolman the reason you did not stop for his redlights and siren was because you had read an email saying this was NOT a safe thing to do????
- My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland, nor my any other thing promised for forwarding an email!
Return Them To Sender!
