• 01. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (O.K. in Texas)



• 02. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.



• 03. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?



• 04. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!



• 05. Are You Andy or Barney?



• 06. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.



• 07. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?



• 08. I pay your salary!



• 09. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!



• 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.



• 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.



• 12. When the Officer says Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? You probably shouldn't respond with, Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?